Top 16 quotes from This Means War (2012)

Quotes from movie This Means War (2012)
 
Katie:
So what brings you to Hong Kong? Business or pleasure?
FDR Foster:
Pleasure.
Tuck:
Business.
FDR Foster:
A little of both.
Katie:
What kind of business are you in?
FDR Foster:
I am a cruise ship captain of a very large vessel. My small friend here is a kick-ass travel agent.
Katie:
Permission to come aboard, captain.
 
[first lines]

Man 1:
[over comms]
All eyes are up.
Man 2:
Sat cams are good.
Man 1:
Target is inbound.
Man 2:
ETA five minutes.
Collins:
Mission is a go. Repeat, you are green to go. Intercept and apprehend the Heinrich brothers. Secure the device. And remember, this mission is covert.
 
Lauren:
FDR has these tiny, like, girl hands. Like, little T-Rex hands.
Trish:
Ew, gross!
[Tuck laughs]

Trish:
That means he's got a Mike and Ike for a penis.
[Tuck laughs out loud]

FDR Foster:
You knot that's not true. You've seen it. You've seen it in Bangladesh, you know that's not true.
 
Lauren:
Oh, it was the most humiliating moment ever.
Trish:
Well, that's because you have to come up with, like, better excuses. You should have been like, "I have a fiancé, too, but he's actually getting a penile reduction this afternoon because his penis is so big, every time it lands like a poltergeist."
 
Karate Dad:
You're not listening to me.
Tuck:
Mate, can I have a quick word with you?
[sucker punches him in the gut]

Tuck:
Okay, that's it, stand up. A brave man once said to me, "Pain is weakness leaving the body."
Karate Dad:
[grunting]
Yes.
Tuck:
Bye, weakness.
 
Agent Bothwick:
[to FDR]
She texted her friend Trish. She said she need to talk because she was "F-T-F-O," which the cryptography department believes means she was Freaking the Fuck Out, sir! I S-H-I-T you not. I was L-M-F-A-O when I read that.
 
FDR Foster:
I missed you.
Tuck:
I know. I've missed you too.
FDR Foster:
I love you, man.
Tuck:
I love you, too.
FDR Foster:
We're back!
Lauren:
Oh, my God. I'm Yoko.
 
[last lines]

FDR Foster:
You never slept with Lauren?
Tuck:
You slept with my wife!
[tackles him out of the airplane]
 
Lauren:
Oh, I think I'm going to hell
Trish:
Don't worry. If you're going to hell, I'll just come pick you up.
 
Lauren:
I'm going out. I'm dating. I'm having fun.
Trish:
You date but you're not taking it seriously.
 
Lauren:
And you look like the kind of guy who's interested in a one-day rental, if you know what I mean.
 
Trish:
Don't choose the better guy, choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl.
 
FDR Foster:
I don't believe in mistakes. It's the mistakes that make us who we are.
 
Karate Dad:
[growls]
Pain? That's just weakness leaving the body.
 
FDR Foster:
Did he just give our bird the bird?
 
Joe:
[watching the news]
Mom. Is that dad?
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