Top 18 quotes from The Vampire's Assistant (2009)

Quotes from movie The Vampire's Assistant (2009)
 
Larten Crepsley:
Nice night, actually...
[points up, causing Darren to look away]

Larten Crepsley:
Is that the Little Dipper or the Big one? I can never remember it.
[Breaks Darren's neck]

Larten Crepsley:
Sorry about that. I had to do that, or they would never believe you were dead. Don't worry; there's no damage to your spinal cord. And I'll sneak into the funeral home and fix your broken neck. Oh and... Sorry for this next part.
 
Mr. Tall:
[Whisper kind of voice]
Are you boys 21? Are you 21?... Say yes!
Darren Shan:
Yeah.
Steve:
Yes.
Mr. Tall:
[Same whisper voice]
Good, you don't have a tendency towards panic, sudden cardiac arrest, or crippling anxiety do you?... Say no!
Darren Shan:
No.
Steve:
Nope.
[shakes head]

Mr. Tall:
Good, go right in, the show is about to start.
 
Larten Crepsley:
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I am so excited to be here in an anonymous small town that used to have character but is now just a bland suburb filled with chain stores and surrounded by slums.
[awkward silence in audience]

Larten Crepsley:
It really is a pleasure to be here. And I am SO honoured that bla bla bla and so on and so forth and etcetera ad nauseum.
 
Evra the Snake Boy:
[Embarrassed after shaking Darren's hand and leaving some skin behind]
Sorry about that, shedding. Itches like crazy.
Darren Shan:
[slightly disturbed]
... right...
Evra the Snake Boy:
[scratches head sheepishly]
Better go wash that, before you get pink eye...
 
Larten Crepsley:
I don't want you leaving camp anymore.
Darren Shan:
Why not?
Larten Crepsley:
Because I said so.
Darren Shan:
You're not my dad you can't tell me what to do.
Larten Crepsley:
[vampire pimp slap]
 
Larten Crepsley:
[after Darren enters his room and turns on the light]
Nice room. Some excellent reading material you have here. Thought this was on the internet now.
Darren Shan:
Mine's blocked.
 
Darren Shan:
He said something about, uh, souls and, uh, destiny. And he knew where I lived.
Larten Crepsley:
Looks like you're in deep shit, my larcenous friend.
 
Steve:
If you kill your family, I'll let the freak go... wait... my bad it's backwards. If you kill the freak, I'll let your family live!
 
Mr. Shan:
College! Job! Family! And one day, if you're really lucky, you'll be standing here yelling at a teenager of your own
 
Gavner Purl:
There are no real generals left anymore Hombre! You and I, we're the last of the Mo-Freakins!
 
Darren Shan:
[From Trailer]
So do I turn into a bat
Larten Crepsley:
NO. That is Bullshit.
 
Larten Crepsley:
[From Trailer]
So do I turn into a bat
Darren Shan:
No. That is Bullshit.
 
Darren Shan:
[In Murlaugh's bag with muffled voice]
Ow, where are we going?
 
Larten Crepsley:
Life may be meaningless, but I have real hopes for death.
 
Larten Crepsley:
Your mouth says no, but your beard says yes.
 
Madame Truska:
You don't love me anymore... Its my beard.
 
Darren Shan:
I hate you!
Steve:
I hate you!
 
Larten Crepsley:
Vampires don't need cellphones.
Contacts
SimilarMoviesDB